When we lived in LA, I was expected to be connected to work on off hours. The work day did not end at 5pm for me or anyone else there. This lead to constantly checking my phone. Now that we have moved, my responsibilities have changed and it does not require me to be as available. I work 20 hours and most of what I do is not time sensitive. It has taken some getting used to. I am still in the habit of feeling like I need to be there and respond right away.
My new goal is to leave the phone on the table and only check it twice a day. Or make the phone handling purposeful. So far, it has been very difficult, but I am trying. I will keep trying. I want to be present for my daughter and husband. Not to keep repeating, "in a second", or "give me five minutes". They deserve better. Plus, if they did that to me, I would not like it very much.
I suppose I can't blame the phone entirely. It is me who grinds their teeth so hard I cracked the same filling twice, that balls my fists even when relaxed, that feels knots in my stomach so intense it feels like a swarm of bees are in there dancing around. Although, I no longer ball my fists, and the knots are few and far between. One more thank you to a quieter environment. Plus, I wear a night guard now, so no more grinding my teeth either.
I'm almost healed.
Now to just put the phone down...
I was just thinking this the other day...regarding the phone. I am constantly checking it, for no reason other than checking email, looking at facebook or some other pointless social media outlet.
ReplyDeleteWhat a good goal, I will try too! I keep telling Avalon, "You are so much more important than this stupid phone"...she is already obsessed with grabbing it and holding it to her ear. I feel guilty for giving her the impression that a phone should constantly be pushed to your head...
Yeah, yesterday was difficult. It is a knee jerk reaction to check it...and for what?? But I will do it! and so will you!
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